“Cause it's a bittersweet symphony, this life, Try to make ends meet!
You're a slave to money then you die. I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down
You know the one that takes you to the places where all the veins meet yeah,” – The Verve
For those of you that don’t know, Boston, MA, is where I spent two years in the National Teaching Fellowship with Citizen Schools. It was my first major job right out of undergrad. It provided me an opportunity to continue my national service tour and work with students in an after-school sector. The Fellowship provided me with a network of friends and colleagues that helped me grow to enjoy Boston. I accomplished a lot during my years and learned quite a bit. While I was growing professionally, I was becoming a social degenerate. I wasn’t really growing or maturing as a person, nor was I being pushed to do so. While the fellowship provided me a sense of growth and accomplishment in one area of my life.. it hindered me in other parts. I tell folks that I meet that my time Boston was one of wild and craziness, as if college never-ended. During Boston, I was in and out of several relationships and could not figure out why… if it was due to my lack of interest, or if I was waiting for the that “crazy” love feeling that you get the first time you meet someone whom you have strong feelings for, or was I just not ready to be in a committed relationship.... probably all of those!!!
Anyhow, after the fellowship I moved down to Houston where I begin my tenure as a Campus Director. It has been a year since I left. I was excited to get back to reconnect with folks, until I was informed that my program in Houston was not going to be funded for this upcoming school year (WTF!!!).
I have a difficult time expressing my feelings and emotions. I was told that when I was a baby, the doctor had to make me cry in order to know if I was okay when my mom gave birth to me. So I guess from that point on I’ve been somewhat of an introvert!!My point is that I didn't know how to react to the ridiculous and asinine news. It took a couple of days for it to sink and hit home to me. I know its was shitty news, and I wish I could of truly went off on the deep end so I wouldn't be constantly thinking about it now.
Sometime I feel as though I'm like momentarily desensitized to things when they immediately happen and then after the case I react to them... like getting punched in the face and then five hours later screaming OUCH!!!! (LOL, an extreme example)
I’ve deviated from my thought…… Hearing news that could driving a person MAD! Citizen Schools was my life in Houston, and the sole reason why I even moved down to Texas. To put your heart and soul into something and then see it fail… does wonders for the heart and the human psyche! My staff and I built that program with our bare hands, and I feel as though at the end of the day, no one really cared that much about our the hard work. The late nights I spent at Fleming, or the early morning at the school, the struggles of my staff members, the families we support, the children we loved and taught.
My principal didn’t even have the professional courtesy to inform me that we would not be returning until after I arrived in Boston for my annual Summer Institute Conference. Even then she did it via email….
So, I was in Boston for Summer Institute. I could barely focus on the content that was being presented and struggled to remain positive. At points I wanted to scream out… “Why am I here?” “Or how do I incorporate the program Scorecard, during unemployment. I had some decisions to make! While I it was a rough week and a half, I did manage to enjoy my time and the company of friends in Boston, Below are pictures from Summer Institute.
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