Its Monday and it’s 6:00 a.m.It’s the beginning of the working week and the end of the weekend.
The road is calling me! Its been calling me for quite some time, but for some reason, I hear it clearly. Its calling to me sounds more fluent than normal. Maybe I was ignoring it….. actually I was ignoring it.
But today you and I are going to hang for 5k.We are going to talk, I’m going to use our time together to think about life, to over-analyze stuff, to gripe, and to celebrate.In return, you will just listen. Your unbiased silence is all that I need in return.
The alarm clock is going off… and as easy as it would be for me to just reset to 7a.m., this is has to become habit for me.I look forward to our talks! I’ll be out in a couple of minutes……
So about two weeks ago, my father and I boldly packed up all my things in Houston… and headed out on an 18 hour-drive to Durham, North Carolina. Obviously, 18 hours in a budget truck isn’t ideal, but I had to do it. If I had to do it with anyone, I’m glad I got to do it with my Father. We don’t really get talk freely about life that often. I’m very seldom home for long enough to have that time with him. While 18 hours didn’t make up for the three years I spent away from Chicago and home, I did get a chance to learn a lot about my dad, and him with me. Its so funny, because he tells me that he’s proud that I turn out differently than him in some aspects, and I tell him I wish I was more like him!!! A Photo of my father, my Aunt, and I.
We drove through Texas, Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, South Carolina, and North Carolina. As we got out trip started out of Houston… shizzle began to hit the fan! The battery in our Budget Truck died! That threw a little bit of a wrench in our plans… We had to jump start the Budget Truck from my Jeep. Once that finished we were set and on our way!
3 A.M. – Saturday August 15th -Somewhere in Alabama
So after driving most of the night, my father and were delirious and exhausted, yet we didn’t want to stay in a hotel. We were trying to make it to Durham so that I could move on Saturday. With that, we pulled into this truck stop area in Alabama to sleep for a few hours in the truck. That didn’t really happen. We were both paranoid about area were in. We slept for five minutes and got back on the road for another hour or so. We eventually made it to Georgia were we stopped for three or four hours before continuing our journey. While on my way to North Carolina, I received a phone call from the Apartment Complex I was living in. About a week ago they had confirmed that I was approved to move in, but then called me as I was en route to NC to tell me that they had not heard back from my apt references. Sounds like some bullshit right?? What was I suppose to do in a Budget Truck in Atlanta Georgia huh??? So I had to find phone numbers to my old landlords and call them… Luckily, Ms. Hansel, my landlord in Boston was really supportive and excited to lend a hand to help me out. She call the place and gave them an amazing recommendation for me. I’m not really feeling this apartment complex at the moment.
7:30 P.M. Saturday, August 15th, Durham, NC We arrived late in Durham, NC, but nonetheless, we finally made it. We had to stay at the Red Roof Inn because the Apartment complex was closed and wouldn’t be open until Monday (that’s another story and some B.S. to it)
Don't stay at the Red Roof Inn in Durham... they make you pay for internet!!! But the desk woman was nice to my dad and I and gave us the hook up at the Texas Roadhouse restaurant! So I guess that cancel out paying 7 bucks for internet.
So during all this craziness I managed to check this movie out. It stars Joseph Gordon- Leavitt, and Zoey Deschanel. It about a boy (Tom) and girl(Summer) whom meet and have different expectations on what their current romantic situation is. The Guy- believes that he has meet "the girl" and The Girl, is not really looking for anything serious, and doesn't believe in "love", but enjoys her time with Tom.
Tom spends the entire movie... living in this relationship both in his head and on Summer's Terms.
The Movie teaches several really hard lessons about relationships, love, and life. While some of these aren't my thoughts and I'll give credit to people whom I've had conversation with about the movie, here are what those lesson could be.
1.Communication is so key, in expressing feelings and there is no substitution for that! Even with the blog..this is after having these thoughts and reflection in my head.
2. Loving someone means being honest and upfront!
3. Love yourself, hold yourself in high regard.. don't let the idea of love force you to compromise you or your expectations.
4. There is a difference between that sick and crazy love that you experience and the real love.
5. You'll meet people whom could be the one, and they could not be... its a crap shoot! Regardless, you'll learn from each and that learning is so invaluable!
6. Meet people that make you want to improve aspects of your life that you struggle in, that's where person growth happen.
That's all I have at the moment, if others have ideas or comments please post or write a comment.
I'm not a Romantic Comedy person, but enjoyed that the movie provided this thinking for me and others.
So from now on, whenever I post my blogs I am going to post 10 songs that I feel go along with the mode of the particular post. So you should, listen to these as you read the blog. I wish I could find some way to link the audio tracks to my blog.. I am working on that anyhow here they are:
1. Petey Pablo "Raise Up" - 2. Drake, Trey Songz, Lil Wayne - "Successful" 3. Ginuwine- "Last Chance" 4. Summer Time - Dead Prez 5. Regina Spektor - Us 6. The Smiths - Please,Please, Let me get what I want! 7. U2 - Magnificent 8. Cold Play - Viva La Vida 9. Human Nature- Michael Jackson 10. Stevie Wonder- As
So after hearing the news during summer Institute about program closing at Fleming, I was forced to contemplate the possibility of finding another job outside of Citizen Schools and assess my current living situation. While one should always keep their head on a swivel and look at opportunities that may arise, I was a bit narrow-minded, solely focusing on trying to lay down the foundation for this program in Houston. If I’ve learned anything during this last month, it’s been that the term “job security” doesn’t mean much any more. So after returning to Houston after Boston, I found myself back on a plane 48 hours later to look at an opportunity to continue work as a Campus Director, in Henderson North Carolina.
The Trip to North Carolina was both exciting and a good experience. I got to hang out with Tracy Gilbert, whom is fellow graduate of the National Teaching Fellowship with me and Campus Director. I got to do some apt hunting and have an honest and important conversation about work, life, and Citizen Schools with Erik Turner, who would be my future boss, in North Carolina. The trip allowed me to make North Carolina a more realistic and viable option for both future employment and residency.(I sound like a nerd! Don’t I ).
“My head is spinning, What am I to do? I’m suppose to know what to do, and I’m suppose to make the right decision, what is that?”
I wasn’t given much time to make the decision… so I had to think ummmmm short and hard about a choice that would change my life. ( I don’t consider myself a drama king by any means, but this is kinda fucking ridiculous huh?) So after three days of meditation on the choices that I needed to make… I chose to accept the position in North Carolina. I felt that after having a crazy year in Houston, I wanted to really dive deep into the position and needed a second year to prove to myself that I could successfully handle this position. I don’t plan on taking positions below this one again, so I either needed to man up or get out the game! ! So that left me with 14 days to prepare myself for Departure from Houston to head to North Carolina
“Cause it's a bittersweet symphony, this life, Try to make ends meet!
You're a slave to money then you die. I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down
You know the one that takes you to the places where all the veins meet yeah,” – The Verve
For those of you that don’t know, Boston, MA, is where I spent two years in the National Teaching Fellowship with Citizen Schools. It was my first major job right out of undergrad. It provided me an opportunity to continue my national service tour and work with students in an after-school sector. The Fellowship provided me with a network of friends and colleagues that helped me grow to enjoy Boston.I accomplished a lot during my years and learned quite a bit.While I was growing professionally, I was becoming a social degenerate.I wasn’t really growing or maturing as a person, nor was I being pushed to do so.While the fellowship provided me a sense of growth and accomplishment in one area of my life.. it hindered me in other parts.I tell folks that I meet that my time Boston was one of wild and craziness, as if college never-ended.During Boston,I was in and out of several relationships and could not figure out why…if it was due to my lack of interest, or if I was waiting for the that “crazy” love feeling that you get the first time you meet someone whom you have strong feelings for, or was I just not ready to be in a committed relationship.... probably all of those!!!
Anyhow, after the fellowship I moved down to Houston where I begin my tenure as a Campus Director. It has been a year since I left.I was excited to get back to reconnect with folks, until I was informed that my program in Houston was not going to be funded for this upcoming school year (WTF!!!).
I have a difficult time expressing my feelings and emotions.I was told that when I was a baby, the doctor had to make me cry in order to know if I was okay when my mom gave birth to me. So I guess from that point on I’ve been somewhat of an introvert!!My point is that I didn't know how to react to the ridiculous and asinine news. It took a couple of days for it to sink and hit home to me. I know its was shitty news, and I wish I could of truly went off on the deep end so I wouldn't be constantly thinking about it now.
Sometime I feel as though I'm like momentarily desensitized to things when they immediately happen and then after the case I react to them... like getting punched in the face and then five hours later screaming OUCH!!!! (LOL, an extreme example)
I’ve deviated from my thought……Hearing news that could driving a person MAD! Citizen Schools was my life in Houston, and the sole reason why I even moved down to Texas.To put your heart and soul into something and then see it fail… does wonders for the heart and the human psyche!My staff and I built that program with our bare hands, and I feel as though at the end of the day, no one really cared that much about our the hard work.The late nights I spent at Fleming, or the early morning at the school, the struggles of my staff members, the families we support, the children we loved and taught.
My principal didn’t even have the professional courtesy to inform me that we would not be returning until after I arrived in Boston for my annual Summer Institute Conference. Even then she did it via email….
So, I was in Boston for Summer Institute. I could barely focus on the content that was being presented and struggled to remain positive. At points I wanted to scream out… “Why am I here?”“Or how do I incorporate the program Scorecard, during unemployment.I had some decisions to make!While I it was a rough week and a half, I did manage to enjoy my time and the company of friends in Boston, Below are pictures from Summer Institute.
So after Summer Program was finished, I finally managed to make my way back to my home town of Chicago, Ill. I spent a little over a week there. There were so many folks that I wanted to see and didn't get a chance to do so. If any of you are reading the blog, I'm so sorry and do hope to make some more visits home in the near future... ( I should probably invest in a planner for trips so that I can make time to see everyone one. Chicago, I feel is where I'm more than likely going to settle down at. I get the yearning to come home a lot, but there is so much for me to explore and its that sense of adventure that keeps me traveling. The folks below are people whom I was able to catch up with! Each one of them represents a different part of my life ( except the little boy in pictures 1 and 5, he ain't mine LMAO!!!) I haven't posted in so long so please excuse the shortness of this post..
